Eight Reasons For A Man To Lie
by filzmonster
Summary: Eight reasons for Break to lie, because a liar is what he is and what he has to be.


»_But I am not __dying_, _Ojou-sama._

A small choke escaped his lips but he managed to cover his mouth with his sleeve before anyone could notice. Well, anyone except Sharon, who, as soon as she heard the unpleasant noise, shot a glance across the room. When her strict and worried gaze met Break's, he waved with his hand and smiled back at her. "It's okay", his lips formed without making a sound, actually, no one should know about his condition.

He couldn't see the disappointed gleam in her eyes, because his rotting and dying body couldn't see anything at all.

.

_»I only care about myself._

The moment Break realized that the Baskervilles had intruded into the Pandora headquarters, several names crossed his mind. The first one was, of course, Lady Sheryl's. It made him sick to his stomach that he let someone hurt her. The next was Sharon's, but she was standing next to him, so he knew she was safe. Her name was immediately followed by Reim's, but the last time he checked on his friend, he had been still unconscious.

Break'd expected that this would be the last one, but to his own surprise, more names followed. Oz. Alice. Even Gilbert. How weird.

.

_»No one can get back what they have once lost._

Sometimes in his dreams, Break could hear the sweet laughter of his former little Mistress. It was a high pitched giggle that rang in his ears ans although it brought his heart to peace, his mind was slowly melting away every time he heard her laughing voice. It was so painful and hurting because he knew he had lost it. He had lost that laugh and that small hand reaching out for his coat. And that smiling face.

It was more than a month after he came to the Rainsworth household that he heard Sharon laugh for the first time.

.

_»I don't mind being blind. _

Somehow he had forgotten the color of her eyes. Or, maybe not exactly the color, he still knew it was that soft pink of a new grown cherry petal in spring. He just seemed to have forgotten the _shade._ Like … how exactly did new grown cherry petals in spring look? How bright did they shine in the sunlight? What did they look like when the stars were reflected in those irises?

How could he have forgotten that?

Sometimes he wished he'd have paid more attention to those shining eyes as long as he was still able to see them.

.

_»Neh, Reim-kun, I would never make you do my paper work._

Break didn't even try to keep quiet while he entered Reim's office at Pandora. However, the moment he realized Reim was sleeping at his desk, his footsteps became softer and his teasing chuckle died away. With a solemn face, Break put the papers for the three reports he should have written next to Reim's face and turned away to leave the office. But for some reason he pretended not to know, he, once more, turned around and approached the desk again. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of yellow candies.

He scattered them across the papers.

.

_»You're so very useless, Raven._

In fact, Gilbert really surprised Break sometimes. Like that morning he told him about Duke Nightray's connection to some highly suspicious noble. Or when he made him those delicious tarts after Break had been on a long and somewhat exhausting mission for Pandora. He also wouldn't have expected the cruel way in which Gilbert was using his own little brother to get more information. And of course, that contract with Raven. Break would have never guessed Gilbert would really be able to do it.

But the biggest surprise was when Gilbert kicked him in the back and saved his life.

.

_»I don't have any friends._

Reim's words echoed in his ears, along with his heartbeat. It felt weird. Really weird. Having a friend was a weird feeling.

Break always thought calling another person 'friend' was a right only reserved for those who had a future and a life to share with 'a friend'.

Kevin did have friends. Many friends. But Kevin was dead. And so would Break be, very soon. There were no 'life' and 'future' he could spent with friends. What was it then?

Him spending his life with Sharon? And Reim? And Gilbert and Oz and Alice?

Did Break really have … friends?

.

_»My past is nothing of your concern._

What a relief.

He was so relieved that now they knew. No more hiding, no more fearing they would find out. Now they knew and they could judge him. He didn't have to feel misjudged anymore. Now they finally saw what sort of monster he really was. How weak he was. How stupid. His mistakes, his flaws, they were discovered and now everyone could see. Everyone would see. Finally, they would have the opinion about him he truly deserved. And they would start to treat him the way he truly deserved.

Just that … nothing really changed. What a relief.


End file.
